By Rachel Bennett
Television Editor & Columnist
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Happy Valentine’s Day, ScottFeinberg.com readers!
On this day of love, I thought it only right to talk about TV’s most romantic show: The Bachelor.
Really, what’s more enchanting than watching two attractive people lock eyes with each another, discuss their hopes and fears, and then overcome the struggles of reality TV (including hot tubs, exotic vacations and 15 minutes of fame) to stay together?
Not much, if you ask me!
Believe it or not, the ABC reality series passed out its first rose in 2002, as bachelor Alex Michel fulfilled the fantasies of many men by meeting 25 women vying for his affection. Alas, true love was not meant to be had that season — or several others, including seasons of spinoffs The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad.
Of 24 The Bachelor and The Bachelorette installments, just three couples have stayed together: Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter (The Bachelorette, season one), Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney (The Bachelor, season 13) and J.P. Rosenbaum and Ashley Hebert (The Bachelorette, season seven).
“I think that’s one heck of a batting average,” says The Bachelor creator and executive producer Mike Fleiss.
But do we really watch The Bachelor to witness a journey of love? Yes and no.
The trainwrecks, backstabbing and name-calling are fun to watch, and they’re as integral to the series as the auditions are to Fox’s American Idol — we like to watch people fall on their faces, especially if they’re in heels. At the same time, we could get this from any rerun of VH1’s Flavor of Love (may it rest in peace).
These shenanigans are really just a front for why viewers repeatedly come back to the series. About 8 million viewers tune in week after week to watch the kisses as well as the tears, proving that we’re not quite ready to let go of fairytale romance.
You’d think that in an age when more women are working outside of the home, casual sex is as commonplace as Starbucks and rom-coms are a dying breed, The Bachelor would be severely outdated.
Yet as much as women make roles for themselves outside of or in addition to being a housewife, American society still maintains that women should want to marry and won’t be fulfilled until they do. That’s why such myths as “a 40-year-old single woman [is] more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to ever marry” become so widespread, and such series as TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress and The Bachelor appeal mainly to women. I guess Say Yes to the Suit doesn’t quite roll off of the tongue as easily …
Nevertheless, more women working outside of the home is seen as a disruption to old marriage structures, and it’s a threat that must be diluted through these cultural influences.
The Bachelorette has at least attempted to reverse the sexism, but both shows still represent a stale ideal — or do they? As of May, 25 million people a month seek matches through online dating sites, even in the face of declining marriage rates.
As much as we may like to see what happens to contestants on The Bachelor, we don’t watch it so much for what will happen in the future — we want to see if it can preserve the past. We check in to witness an exception to the rule that says marriages no longer work, and occasionally (three times, to be exact!), there is.
Marriage is becoming a relic, whether it be through divorce, people wanting to remain single, living in sin and/or unconventional families, and The Bachelor reinforces that the institution still has a purpose.
This may just look like hopeless romanticism, but it leaves minorities on the outside. White, heterosexual couples have never threatened marriage because they make it possible, but interracial marriage wasn’t legal in the United States until 1967, and gay marriage still isn’t legal in all 50 states because some believe gay people “threaten to taint” the sanctity of the institution.
There has yet to be a bachelor or bachelorette of a racial, gender and/or sexual minority, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Sadly, casting someone in such a demographic would go against the “marriage is sacred” mantra of The Bachelor.
Of course, some of the bachelors and bachelorettes have taken matters into their own hands to fight this anthem. Several have not proposed by the end of their journey, instead choosing to select no one or to keep dating the “winner” without popping the question. Aside from this, the “fantasy suite” date presumably means the couple sleeps together for the first time. However, sex is hardly ever discussed on the show (and if it is, it’s not explicitly referenced).
So, yes, The Bachelor may be fun to watch, but it subconsciously reinforces an increasingly outdated institution in a manner that promotes antiquated ideals and rights.
How about just a little diversity, Fleiss? It’s time to take The Bachelor into at least the 20th century. Just keep the roses — some things are timeless.